The Gryffindor Broom Race
by Queen of the Scoubies
Summary: It's the Gryffindor Broom Race, the most dreaded day of the Hogwarts professors year. Read to discover thier actions and then TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!


**Disclaimer: I felt like writing one for this story :) I don't own Harry Potter, or the All-American Rejects song Swing Swing. So yeah, I'd like to though…**

It was a late Sunday afternoon and the sun was setting extravagantly over the lake, while the cheers from the Quidditch pitch could be heard in Hogsemead. Birds fled for safety into the forbidden forest, and professor Snape locked himself in his study fearing for his safety. Tonight was the legendary Gryffindor broom race. The Gryffindor broom race was held every two years and was known to send even the best-behaved students such as Hermione Granger, into wild, monkey like, misbehaving students for days.

**Professor Snape's Study**

The event had only just commenced and already the noise emitting from the quidditch stadium was deafening, causing the usually calm professor Snape to panic. The noise had broken through the several hundred silencing charms that he had placed around his room, leaving him no choice. He had come across this remedy while spending time with his 16 year old muggle niece who played really, really loud music all of the time. Walking across his expansive study, he searched through a drawer until he found that colourful little box. Pulling out two of the plugs, he jammed them painfully into his ears enjoying the silence.

**Quidditch Pitch**

The Gryffindor body cheered deafeningly when their real-life hero walked into the stadium carrying his Firebolt 2002. His jet black hair moved messily as he screamed his arrival, "HARRY POTTER HAS ENTERED THE QUIDDITCH PITCH!" Following him was his red-headed, freckly best-friend Ron Weasley, carrying his own Cleansweep 2000, also screaming his arrival.

Loudly, they made their way to the centre of the pitch, where a bushy-haired girl wearing a very revealing black bikini awaited their arrival. Picking up an oversized chequered flag, she ushered her two best-friends over.

"Mione, you look hot! Wanna make out later?" Harry asked not caring that everyone could hear.

"Sure, I can fit you in after Seamus and before dean. Ron how about you? Colin cancelled just before."

"Bloody hell, yeah!"

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

The transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall sat calmly meditating on her cleared desk wishing for the night to be over. She could hear the screaming and see the flashing lights. Her entire house was out there on the quiddtich pitch, most likely getting rotten drunk.

Suddenly a familiar voice leaked through her thoughts, "Mione, you look hot! Wanna make out later?" Harry, no! Please no! Not you too, I am relying on you, please don't do this! And Hermione! Not you either! You're the smartest witch of your age! You must be strong. Show your resilience. There must be an injection or something to cure or deter this, I don't know what to call it, but say no Hermione! "Sure, I can fit you in later…"

Falling cleanly off the desk, Professor McGonagall curled into a ball and cried. The two best students in her house had fallen into the Gryffindor trap. FUN!

**Professor Snape's Study**

Professor Snape was kneeling on the floor behind his desk with his head in a container of sand and his behind sticking up. A single straw was stuck in his nose to breathe and the tampons were still in his ears. The noise was still filtering through the sand and slowly he was going crazy.

Lifting his head made the noise louder and soon the constant cheering of happy students filled his ears and their laughing faces swirled in his eyes. He felt dizzy and suddenly his eyes rolled back into his head and he promptly fainted, his head thumping the cold concrete ground loudly.

**Quidditch Pitch**

"Tonight is the contests of all contests. Tonight friends will compete and enemies will be made. Tonight Gryffindor's will compete with each other to determine the Gryffindor Lion. Tonight is the Gryffindor Broom Race!" Hermione opened the event with her best friends on each side. "On this side I have the semi-finalist, Harry Potter, the boy who lived, everybody welcome your peer, your team mate, your future lion! On my other side, I have his best friend, Ron Weasley, brothers of the well-known pranksters, Fred and George Weasley, everybody welcome, your red-headed, freckly Won Won!"

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

Come on Harry! You can win! You have the faster broom, the Quidditch skills! You can do it! I've always known that you're like your father, he was the Gryffindor Lion!

**Professor Snape's Study**

The oily haired, pale skinned potions teacher slowly opened his eyes and immediately heard "…Tonight is the Gryffindor broom race!" Oh god, do they have to remind me? … Is that Hermione Granger speaking? … Wow, she's good at the introductory speech, he continued as Hermione's voice filled his ears. "…welcome your peer, your team mate, your future Lion!" Pulling out the tampon, a long string of yellow wax clung to it like glue, attaching it to his ear. "…Won Won!" What the hell?

**Quidditch Pitch**

"On the count of three the two contestants are to take off, circle the stadium three times, put three balls through each goal hoop at one side of the pitch and go backwards around the stadium once, then land" Hermione continued to the contestants and to the crowd. "One! Two! Three!" Anything else that was said was drowned out by an all mighty flame and mass of smoke as Harry took off. Chunks of burnt twigs rained down on Hermione and Ron, as he had stalled his broom. Recovering she continued, "It seems that Ron had stalled his Cleansweep 2000 and Harry was assumed the lead…That's three laps around the stadium and two goal hoops done. One more goal hoop and one reverse lap and he is officially the Gryffindor lion!"

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

Go Harry! Go, do this for Gryffindor! You're in the lead and he'll never catch up! You're going to be the lion!

**Professor Snape's Study**

For Christ's sake! Will you hurry up and become the bloody lion? I am sick of hearing about it! All I've heard about for the past two months is 'Will Harry become the lion?' whispers all through my class by the useless Gryffindor's.

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

_Shut the hell up Severus! I can hear you all the way up here! Could you stick the tampons back in your ears and your head back in the sand? It was much more peaceful. Minerva McGonagall._

**Quidditch Pitch**

"and he's nearing the finish line, 200 meters to go…100 meters …50 meters..20 meters…and Harry Potter is officially of new Gryffindor Lion!" louder cheering than before consumed the pitch, and the castle, awaking Professor Dumbledore who was peacefully slumbering on his large desk.

**Professor Dumbledore's Office**

_Minerva, could you kindly usher your students back from the Quidditch Pitch and place a sleeping charm on each of them. I believe that it would be best for all of us. Especially Severus, who I am sure, has tampons in his ears again, with his head stuck in a bucket of sand. Yours sleepily, Albus Dumbledore_

**Professor Snape's Study**

Oh, Really Minerva? Well in that case I shall scream and sing and make your life hell!

"Days swiftly come and go. I'm dreaming of her. She's seeing other guys. Emotions they stir… Are you annoyed yet? …Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of. My heart is crushed by a former love…"

**Professor Dumbledore's Office**

_Severus, Minerva and I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop trying to sing that song. You are terrible. And your not annoying Minerva as she has gone to fetch her feral students, you are just driving me crazy! Please shut up! Albus Dumbledore_

**Quidditch Pitch**

"Harry! You're the Gryffindor Lion, let's make out now!" Ginny yelled as she pulled Harry off his broom.

"Nah, I've made a booking with Hermione, but you can be next!" Harry promised his girlfriend.

"Gryffindor's, follow me please!" Professor McGonagall yelled for all of the students to hear despite that they were all cheering for Harry. "Our neighbours have complained about the noise!"

"Professor McGonagall, you know we haven't got neighbours, we live at Hogwarts" one student yelled from the other side of the pitch

"Professor Snape and the headmaster have complained about the excessive noise, therefore you shall all celebrate in the common room after I put a silencing spell on it."

"Fair enough let's go!" yelled someone else and they all followed like a flock of sheep.

**Professor Flitwick's Study**

_Thank god that they have shut up! I could not sleep over all of that roar! Hey that's funny! 'Gryffindor Lion' and 'all that roar'. Did you get it? I wonder how Severus is coping with all of the Gryffindor Lion stuff, remember last time? P.Flitwick_

**Professor Sprouts Study**

_I know, they were waking up my baby Spuderyflowers. They are such light sleepers. I wonder how Minerva managed to shut them up. Mind you it was predictable that Harry Potter would get the Gryffindor Lion, look who he was against. Oh that was just too funny for words. Him curled up in a ball as the Gryffindor students threw their smelly socks at him! Ha! P.Sprout_

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

_I am sending this to all of you. GO TO SLEEP! I just had to risk my lives for you lot, so the least you can do is go to sleep! It is now safe to take out the tampons; the bloody Spuderyflowers can now go back to sleep and stop making stupid jokes, they really are stupid. Take advantage of the peace, the Gryffindor's will wake up mighty upset due to the fact that they were tricked and not given the opportunity to celebrate. Minerva McGonagall_

**So, my fine-fan-fiction-friends…. What did you think of this one? TELL ME!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


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